Many Ends

A friend of mine from the program died recently. Drug related, but not sure if addiction related. I’m guessing so. Will never know for sure I bet. Doesn’t matter. She was too young, but suffering. Not able to get well as of late. I couldn’t help her. She didn’t want to change bad enough. I pray she’s at peace now.

I am weaning off the resperidal. Cut it in thirds last night. Plan is to cut it by third one week, half the next, and then off.  Right now I am feeling hopeful.

My anxiety is very manageable. We went out of town this past weekend and I didn’t even think about taking an Ativan, which is amazing. I always take an Ativan or two when away from home, especially over night. 

I’m not feeling depressed either. On the contrary, I feel motivated to accomplish things (chores, exercise, hobbies.) I am fairly patient with everyone right now. Some agitation when I don’t get my space, but this is something I expected with the schedule change of the kids being home from school, now that it is summer break. 

I’ve been off the Topamax for a week now. Had my fifth migraine of the month yesterday.  Not good. Over twice as many as last month. Still waiting on word of trying Botox. 

Been experiencing severe achiness in quads throughout the day several days a week, especially while in bed. Last weekend it was so bad it actually felt like my muscles were burning. Don’t have any idea why. Didn’t do anything out of the ordinary. Happening more and more frequently. Started a few months ago. Also having intermittent nausea.  Hoping my kidney function is ok. See doctor for follow up in July.

Daughter seems good. Got a job. Playing ball. Grounded this week for drinking with friends. Said she’s done it two other times. One we already knew about. Hope it’s nothing more than experimenting and that she is done. Teenagers. They are so fun except when they do stupid shit like that. 

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