I walked into my daughter’s bedroom last night to ask her a question. The lights were off and I found her wrapped cocoon-like in a thick blanket, head covered except for her face, lying on her side in the fetal position. “Are you ok?” I asked. “I’m fine,” she answered. Yeah, right! I thought.
Long story, short, I came to find out that she’s been having suicidal thoughts for about a week now. Her depression is back. 😦 Things in her life are going well, not like last year at this time when she lost all of her friends and she was at her old high school, which caused her extreme amounts of anxiety. Right now, she has great friends and teachers, and she is in a wonderful school environment. She said everything is good in all those areas.
It is the weather. I know it is. It just turned cold here about a week or two ago. The days are dreary and sometimes rainy. There is always a chill in the air, if not downright freezing. I’ve been feeling it bring down my mood, too, as I wrote yesterday. Even my husband said it is negatively affecting his mood.
She doesn’t have a plan, so I don’t think she is in immediate danger. The thing that sucks is that we are in between psychiatrists right now, and aren’t set to see the new one until January. I am going to call today to see if we can get in sooner than that.
In the meantime, I got out my light box for her to use. I used it for a few years when my depression got really bad, but I haven’t needed it in quite a while, thankfully. I am hoping it helps her get by until we see the new doctor; that it keeps her symptoms from getting worse, or even better, that it makes her depression go away.
Us adults know how hard it is to deal with these mental illness symptoms. I can’t imagine how horrible it is for a 15-year-old to manage them. Please pray for her if you are so inclined.
Also, I am wondering how many people out there deal with seasonal depression like we do and how you cope with it?