My husband cooked dinner last night, as he often does. He’s great that way, and in many other ways. I am very blessed. However, he forgot to make a certain vegetable that I asked him to make, and I, in my normal fashion, got mad. What is wrong with me? Why do I insist on perfection from others? Probably because it is what I expect from myself. How do I stop doing this?
I think it has to do with my attempt to control everything in my world, which goes back to my anxiety disorder. To try to decrease my anxiety, I try to control my external world in every way I think I can, even in ways that realistically I can’t; I cannot control people, places or things. Crap! I can’t control ANYTHING, except for MYSELF! And in trying to control other people, I may, in fact, be creating more anxiety for myself as I worry about them failing my expectations.
There is a slogan that we live by in AA that comes to mind here that says, “Live and Let Live.” It means to live your own life and let others live theirs without interfering with it except in the event that they ask you to or that it is your minor child or things like that.
Bottom line is I need to chill out. Sometimes I think the best thing to do is to have NO expectations. That way I have less chance of being disappointed and more of a chance of being pleasantly surprised.