I Feel

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My irritability is better than it has been for the past two months.  I think it had to do with a medication change and my hypomania/rapid cycling.  It got bad enough that my daughter confronted me about it.  I was shocked into looking at my behavior and forced into reframing how I expressed my feelings with people.

I am no longer blaming and criticizing others like I was.  Instead I am taking ownership of my feelings and stating them in an assertive way.  You know, the whole “I feel this way when you do this” rather than “You make me feel blah, blah, blah.”

It makes a huge difference in how the conversation goes.  Communication is much better, because if I say it in the former way, the other person doesn’t get as defensive and I feel better about myself and the way I handled things afterwards.

My daughter says her anxiety is the same, but she is doing a lot more socially with new friends and new situations.  It is such an awesome thing for me to see.  I am so happy for her.

I am very tired these days.  I have come down from my hypomania and am experiencing some apathy and a lot of boredom.  I feel annoyed and depressed when I am bored so I hope it passes soon.