Darkest Before the Dawn

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I hate clichés but I wanted to use this title because I’m praying for dawn soon. After a full year of trying varying doses of different medications, my daughter started yet another one last night to try to get some relief from her agonizing anxiety disorder.

Before starting the new medication, however, she had to wean off of a different one first which caused much dizziness, light-headedness, nausea, severe irritability and of course, increased anxiety.

I feel so awful for her; to have to go through this, especially at her young age of only 15 years old. She’s such a strong person, and definitely a survivor, just like all of us who have mental illnesses.

I am happy to report that she has healed greatly from the fall-out with her best friends at the end of last year. They are still estranged, but she is managing well and has made some new friends.

Also, she will be going to a smaller, private school next year which will place her in a less anxiety-producing environment just insofar as the crowd, noise, and overall stimuli goes.

Believe it or not I am managing fine through it all, other than I worry about her all of the time. With a lot of self-care, good coping skills, and a healthy support system, my mental health has remained within normal limits. Yay!

Although, truth be told, it is springtime here and I am starting to get a little hypomanic which is typical for me during this time of year. The projects have begun, the lack of sleep is coming, and I can feel the irritability skirting around the edges of my moods.

I seem to only write poetry when I am depressed, which is why I haven’t posted any poems in while. It may be a while more since I am becoming hypomanic now. Don’t give up on me. I have bipolar. The depression will return. 😉

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